Improving Mental Skills in Sports: Bring an Umbrella
The Idea
Okay, fine. I’ll write a blog about confidence because that’s THE buzzword, right? How do we improve mental skills in sports without it?
Let me tell you a story. I was hired to help a local club soccer team a few years ago. As we got into the heart of the season, the games were picking up and everyone was being called on to participate. For some players, this was great news since they didn’t usually get playing time. We were in this tournament semi-final and one of the subs was called upon. She goes in and her shift lasted about three minutes; she asked to come off because she was feeling sick.
I pull her aside to ask her what’s wrong and if I can help. She says she just feels “off” (super helpful) so I ask some follow up questions:
“What did you have to eat today?” - just a bowl of cereal
“Have you been drinking water?” - hadn’t had a glass of water since the night before
“How was the warm-up before the game?” - she was late and missed it
I had a strong rapport with a team, which allowed me to ask this final question: “Did you earn the right to be a confident soccer player today?” This sounds like a harsh question but it’s supposed to be — confidence is not easily earned, or else everyone would be confident all of the time. While I believe everyone deserves to be confident, you still need to earn it. You need to build it.
The Connection
Building confidence is a lot like reading the weather forecast. The best way to get a weather forecast is to step outside; you can gauge the temperature or feel the rain. This experience is a great indicator on what to do next. You can change your outfit or bring an umbrella. However, there’s something this experience is missing — what will happen for the rest of the day? Does the temperature change or will it start raining later? So what most people do now is look at their phone to help with their decision. Their plan is based on a) real-life experiences and b) preparation for potential obstacles. These two principles are at the heart of building confidence.
Confidence is ultimately a belief. It’s tempting to call it a feeling because we think we either “feel confident” or we don’t. Feelings and emotions are responses to what’s going on around us and come and go as things change. Confidence is much more than that — it’s an approach or value that we hold despite what is happening around us. People who are truly confident believe in themselves whether things are easy or hard; they truly believe in themselves despite what happens or what other people say. So when we build confidence, we’re not looking to “feel good”. We’re looking to build our belief in ourselves.
This is why I love the weather analogy. Let’s pretend you go outside and it’s raining. You believe, without a doubt, that you need an umbrella. That experience of feeling rain has shaped that belief. In other words, you’re confident that you need an umbrella. This is why experience is the best way to build confidence. Now consider it’s not raining outside, but the forecast is predicting rain in a few hours. It would be wise to bring an umbrella with you, regardless of the chance of rain. Bringing an umbrella is the ultimate solution — you’re prepared for rain either way. Isn’t this why people put umbrellas in their cars? Just in case, right? Those people have increased their belief in being able to handle rainy weather. If you asked them how confident they are to handle rain, they’d tell you 100%. Let’s take it further — these people have also tested their umbrellas to ensure that no matter how hard it rains, they are ready. No matter the experience or forecast, they are ready.
If you want to be confident, all you have to do is bring an umbrella. In other words, you need to prepare, and preparation is best fed through past experiences and reflection on what potential obstacles might arise.
The Application - Coaches
Let’s go back to the story from the beginning. Every coach would say the same thing: she did not earn her confidence. She didn’t take of herself and didn’t prepare for the game. Asking her to go on the field and perform at her very best is a gamble. There’s certainly a responsibility from athletes to prepare for training and games; you can’t hold their hand during every meal or every time they practice (or don’t practice). This is true.
BUT…coaches are responsible for creating a climate that helps athletes build their confidence. Let’s use the two principles from above:
Are your athletes experiencing opportunities to grow in confidence? This is particularly important for coaches looking to develop players. We often coach up the top players on the team and give them the most minutes, but think about the flip side of that — the players who need the most help often don’t get coached up (despite needing it more) and don’t get playing time to learn. Coaches will note in their eval that the athlete needs to get better at something, but then doesn’t give that athlete a chance to show the improvement or learn from the lack thereof. This athlete will lose their motivation as their self-belief dips.
Are your athletes preparing? The reason athletes don’t prepare is either a) they don’t know how or b) they don’t see the point in preparing if they never get minutes. Let’s focus on not knowing how to prepare. As a coach, your job is to inform them and teach them. Do they know how to warm-up and cool down? Do they know how to eat? Do they understand what different tactical ideas mean? These are your responsibilities as a coach because you set the warm-up, you give the halftime talk, you decide what tactics they play, and so on. Without doing this, you’re leaving athletes to feel unprepared and unsupported (not a good recipe for confidence).
As a coach, we can play a vital role in increasing athletes’ confidence. Make sure you are providing experiences for everyone to succeed, and you can (and should) be very clear what expectations come along with that. This should lead to curiosity as to why some of your players aren’t performing well. That’s where you investigate and help them prepare in new and different ways. Problem-solve WITH them. Remember, we’re in the belief business and providing support to your athletes is crucial.
The Application - Athletes
Bring an umbrella with you (not really, unless your sport is outside). I mean this metaphorically. The umbrella respresents how you approach and respond in situations, whether you can control them or not. The weather is uncontrollable, but how you approach and respond to it is in your control. This is why people who complain about the rain are frustrating; yes, I know being wet is uncomfortable, but where is your umbrella? Where is your solution to the problem?
Your confidence — your belief in yourself — will sky rocket if you simply start preparing more. Stop asking, “How can I become more confident?” and start asking, “How can I better prepare to perform at my best?” If you struggle to find energy for an evening practice, then prepare; eat a good dinner the night before, get some sleep, limit screen time, or drink water. If you struggle to control your emotions during games, then prepare; practice deep breathing, use self-talk, or journal before and after the game.
When you prepare, throwing yourself into experiences becomes a lot more manageable, no matter how challenging they are. That’s the beauty of “bringing an umbrella”— it’s not about how hard it rains, it’s about whether you’re prepared or not. Preparing for a game increases your belief that you’re ready; it’s calming in a way that gives you hope and control. That’s why some people call it quiet confidence — all of your work is done behind the scenes so that when you get on stage, you can crush it.
Will Martel | St. Louis Certified Mental Performance Consultant | CMPC
Want to work with a CMPC (Certified Mental Performance Consultant) in St. Louis or beyond? I’d love to talk about ways that I can help you, a teammate, your team, or your club. Visit wmcoaching10.com to view my services and contact info. Or, just shoot me a message on Instagram.
